Ruth is not a great friend to Kathy. Often she's not even a good friend. So why does Kathy continue to talk to her and go out of her way to make Ruth happy on more than one occasion? I found myself asking this a lot while reading this book. I've been in friendships like that before, more recently than I'd like to admit, so for me it wasn't so hard to picture this dynamic.
In class we talked about Ruth's childish behavior, from acting like the veterans in an attempt to fit in to making it seem like Kathy was the jealous and manipulative one. Her behavior is that of someone who has to have control in their situation, or else they don't feel comfortable. As a child, her behavior is excusable to us because she hasn't learned better yet. As an adult, she comes off as a character that mildly disgusts us for not being more mature. But is this entirely Ruth's fault?
The students at Hailsham are incredibly sheltered, Miss Emily even mentions it as a perk of being raised there when Kathy and Tommy speak to her. Ruth's role in her social group has always been the leader, and when the Hailsham students arrive at the Cottages, she's suddenly thrust into a subservient position that she isn't quite equipped to fill. She takes her cues from the veterans, trying desperately to fit in with them while still balancing on the top of the Hailsham pyramid. She copies the veterans' goodbye gestures with Tommy and pretends to forget minute details about Hailsham, which only serve to alienate her from those who were her best friends. Ruth seems immature to the audience because she literally is. She may be equipped to donate all her organs without a second thought, but she isn't at all ready to maintain healthy and equal relationships. Truly, her biggest flaw is that she can't even begin to fathom that.
Despite Ruth's shortcomings in the department of maturity, this scenario reflects a lot on Kathy's character, too. She's definitely written as a pushover for most of her time at Hailsham, only challenging Ruth a few select times (such as the pencil case fiasco). For the most part, she is always looking to fix her and Ruth's relationship when they're at Hailsham, often assuming the blame in order to keep the peace. The trick here, and the reason that Kathy doesn't fully catch on until much later, is that Ruth makes up for her mistakes just enough to win Kathy back without actually apologizing. As far as I can recall, Ruth never verbally and sincerely apologizes to Kathy for anything that happens at Hailsham, or in their years at the cottages. But here and there she'll do something nice for Kathy, like buying her that cassette at a Sale to make up for her lost one, or having late night talks at the Cottages, and Kathy forgives Ruth almost dutifully.
She does this almost out of a twisted sense of loyalty; she and Ruth go through everything together, from protecting Miss Geraldine to Ruth's donations. Before the peak of Ruth's manipulative behavior, they were best friends, and Kathy feels like she's obligated to make sure they stay that way. All of the students know that they are bound by purpose to live short lives, and it seems like Kathy doesn't want to squander hers by pushing away one of the few people that she will ever get to know.
Kathy does eventually learn to stand up to Ruth a bit more, but it's not entirely clear when this change happens. Even towards the end of their years at the Cottages Kathy has a hard time consistently standing up for herself, but when she becomes Ruth's carer it's so much easier for her to say what she's really thinking. Perhaps this development is because she spent several years away from Ruth, and was able to think about the events of the past without any added input from Ruth. At any rate, Kathy and Ruth's friendship was by no means wholesome, but it was necessary for them to make it through their time at Hailsham and become the people they were at the very end.
Madison, as I was reading your portion about Ruth as a friend, it sparked me to answer, is it entirely her fault she's like this? Simply, I don't think it's entirely her fault as much as I don't like her either. Yet, I don't necessarily agree that the students are all that sheltered at Hailsham, I think to a certain extent the teachers are very open with them throughout their lives in order to prepare them for who they are to become by the end of their time. However, I think they are sheltered away from the opportunity of having someone to look up to. I think they are given so much free reign outside of "classes" to do what they want, neither Ruth nor Kathy (or anyone really) have an idea of what it's like to truly be a friend or how to treat others. They are prepared for the physical parts of life and what emotions real people might be able to feel. There's no older figure there guiding them through that part of life to tell Ruth you can't act that way towards others or for Kathy to see that friend's shouldn't treat you that way. As kids, parents, teachers, supervisors, etc., would be there to tell us constantly how to treat others and you just don't see that in this book. And I think because of this overarching uncertainty of how one is supposed to act, even though you're a clone and will die, is what causes Ruth to be "insecure" and try to fit in wherever she's at and feel like she has to act all tough and superior to others because in reality she doesn't know how to act.
ReplyDeleteI like the point you make about Ruth being someone who has to have control. That description accurately reflects her personality and actions throughout the novel. I believe that Ruth’s controlling behavior and desires stems from the fact that she and the other clones do not have any real autonomy over their lives. Sure they can decide who they want to be in a relationship with, who they are going to be friends with, etc, but they lack any real control over their futures. They “were brought into this world for a purpose” and their futures “have been decided” (Ishiguro 81). They will all have to donate their vital organs by the time they are in their thirties, as that is what they were “created to do” (81). Ruth, Kathy, and Tommy do not get to choose what their future will be like, and while Kathy and Tommy are slightly more accepting of their fate being in the hands of others, Ruth is not. As a way to obtain more control over her life, she attempts to gain control over the lives of others, lying and manipulating them in order to do so. This is seen various times in her interactions with Kathy, including when she randomly excludes her from protecting Miss Geraldine, and in her attempts to mimic higher authorities, such as adopting the good-bye gesture the veterans use. Her behavior is meant to exert control over others and imitate authority figures in order to have a sense of control over her own life.
ReplyDeleteWhile I agree that for the vast majority of the novel Ruth is a terrible person, I believe that she has some redeeming qualities that make up for her manipulative and fake personality. All throughout their time at Hailsham, Ruth is somewhat rude to Kathy, who is persistent in her efforts to be her friend. Kathy is even excluded from Ruth’s “secret guard.” At that young of an age, exclusion can be a very hurtful thing, but when Kathy tries to join in on Ruth’s conversation she says, “oh Kathy, how are you? If you don’t mind, we’ve got something to discuss just now. We’ll be finished in just a minute. Sorry” (Ishiguro 54). At first glance this might not seem harmful, but it is the exclusion that hurts Kathy. When they move onto the cottages, Ruth distances herself from Kathy by discounting their memories at Hailsham and by trying to fit in with the older students there.
ReplyDeleteHowever, Ruth always manages to try to help Kathy, even when her efforts fail. When Kathy loses her favorite tape at Hailsham, Tommy explains later that “Ruth was getting people to look for it and saying you were really upset about losing it” (Ishiguro 169). Most importantly, I believe Ruth redeems herself when she apologizes to Kathy and gives her Madame’s address so she and Tommy might get a deferral. In the end she understands her mistakes and tries to make up for it, even if it was too late.