In Never Let Me Go, Ishiguro examines the roles of friendship and love in connection with death and mortality. Kathy, the main character of the novel, focuses on her friendship with Ruth, her best friend, as a way to analyze her own life as she approaches death. Ruth is the kind of person we have all encountered at some point, that friend who is there for Kathy when she most needs her, but usually manipulates Kathy and makes her feel small in order to keep her from realizing she can do better and leaving Ruth: “‘So that’s it, that’s what’s upsetting poor little Kathy. Ruth isn’t paying enough attention to her. Ruth’s got big new friends and baby sister isn’t getting played with so often’” (p. 113). Ruth is scared to lose Kathy because Kathy is her only real friend, but her desire to fit in at the Cottages causes Kathy to leave her when she puts on a persona to be similar to the veterans: “And there was in particular this one gesture Ruth picked up from the veterans…you slapped your partner’s arm near the elbow, lightly with the back of your knuckles…Ruth was soon doing it to Tommy…after a week or so they were managing to do it right, more or less exactly like the veteran couples” (pp. 110-111). Ruth’s behavior at the cottages alienates Kathy who is more focused on staying connected to Hailsham than on moving on. Kathy’s growth as a person is shown through her relationship with Ruth throughout the novel. When they are young, Kathy blindly follows Ruth as a child blindly follows an adult. When they are at the Cottages and starting to grow into adulthood, Kathy begins to challenge Ruth and see some of her flaws, as a teenager challenges the system and begins to think for themselves. And in the final stage of the novel, Kathy and Ruth are on equal footing, and Kathy possibly even in more of an authority position over Ruth, as she has acknowledged her flaws and worked to overcome them, becoming more mature than Ruth will ever be. This example of Kathy and Ruth shows how one’s relation to those who appear to be in authority changes over time as one grows up and learns to think for themselves.
I found your analysis of Ruth and Kathy’s relationship to align with my own, especially agreeing with how the authority of the friendship seemed to switch to Kathy. This became most apparent to me with Ruth’s response to if she wondered what would’ve happened if she tried to work in an office, “’How could I have tried?’ Ruth’s voice was hardly audible” (P. 230). Throughout the conversations between Ruth and Kathy on their day trip, Ruth often answered very quietly, implying she was unsure of her answers and no longer confident in herself. I saw this as a switch from the time you mentioned, how Ruth often made Kathy feel small and treated her like a baby who needed attention. I also did find it interesting how at the Cottages Kathy was the one more focused on staying connected to Hailsham and their group, however Kathy was the first to leave for training which affected Ruth more than she thought. Laura shared how many people had a falling out with Ruth, “You remember the way she was back then. If anything, after you left, she got worse. You know, always telling everyone what to do” (p. 210). This spoke to me because Ruth liked to act as if she did not need to stay connected with Hailsham, yet her actions and behavior once Kathy moved on said otherwise.
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